To avoid confusion and lack of clarity, choose one transparent location where all important discussions live.
We always host important discussions at: [[Location]]
Who is the owner?
When an owner of a project, task, or discussion is clearly named, they get the final say on how to move forward.
The owner of a particular discussion can be:
The one who brought the issue up in the first place
The one who will be tasked with carrying out the solution
The one with the most expertise in the given subject matter.
What's the most urgent problemt to solve?
Sometimes conflict arises because people are discussing more than one problem at a time. This makes the problem seem larger than it is, and it's hard to move forward.
Untangle multiple issues by tackling the biggest question first and going from there.
What are the [three] deadlines we can set to resolve this?
Having no deadline for a decision can lead to feelings of frustration and being stuck. But only using one deadline can cause problems, too.
Use multiple deadlines to avoid this type of crunch. For example, you can:
Set a deadline for replies to a discussion
Set another deadline for narrowing down the top 3 solutions
Set a final deadline for deciding on the next step
Make a point of moving on with your timeline as planned.
Culture playbook
These are some suggestions for values you can adopt as a whole team that will make facing conflict easier. Adapt it to your handbook and change as needed.
Embrace imperfection
If the perfect solution to a problem existed, there probably wouldn’t be any disagreements about what to do! But that’s just not realistic. Instead:
Accept that you need to make a good decision, not a perfect one.
Remember that every problem, discussion and solution is an opportunity to learn and grow. Nobody, at any company, nails it every time.
Think about the bigger picture of moving forward and being able to make adjustments. Don’t get hung up on the details, especially when they’re not set in stone.
Don’t strive for 100% consensus
When there’s a verbal conversation, it can feel more natural to move on from the specifics of people’s starting points to agree on a path forward. A written record of how everything has played out can make it feel more urgent to make sure everyone fully agrees.
Don’t fall into this trap. What matters isn’t having 100% consensus, it’s being able to understand why the team is going with one choice over the other and being able to get behind it.
“Disagree and commit” is a bit of a cliche in the tech space, but it’s true. If people spend too much time blocking decisions or nursing grudges, productivity and positivity will be hard to find.
Disputes can spiral out of hand when people feel removed from the decision-making process. But if you communicate often and in detail, it helps cut down on discussion time by heading off the need for multiple follow-ups.
Being thorough can also help reduce misunderstandings. Remember that Sales doesn't speak the same language as Engineering, and vice versa. Being generous with your rationale will help everyone learn.
This type of communication should be baked into your company culture already. Leadership can set an example in the way they communicate with direct reports, company-wide memos, and even investor updates.
Finally, make sure there’s a chance for everyone to check in outside of important discussions. Strong relationships can't only be forged in conflict - they have to be established in casual conversations as well.
Take ownership and take action
Discussions happen because your team needs to make a decision. Decisions get made because your team needs to move forward and get something done.
Having an ownership mentality is crucial, especially in startups. There's often no perfect owner for a task, and there's certainly no perfect owner for a disagreement. Instead, empower your team to move forward knowing that it’s more important to put in an honest effort than it is to come up with sheer brilliance in the first iteration.
Embracing imperfection, working without exact consensus and over-communicating should all lead up to this bias to action.